[IC Contact | Siren's Pull]

[ofthursday]

[IC contact post for Siren's Pull~]

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[ofthursday]

Even I know that if you must force someone to see you, it an indication that they don't desire to.

[He sets his jaw at the laugh, and the comment, but he doesn't offer a response. He's not getting into a contest wih Lucifer over claustrophobia.]

[thelightbringer]

Uh-huh, so let's go over the other signs someone doesn't really want to be around you.

[He ticks them off on his fingers:]

They call on you only when they need help.

They mock you.

They don't trust you. And no matter what you do, they are always prepared for you to turn on them.

As much as they say otherwise, they make it clear you will never really be part of them--

Should I keep going or just let you stop me when I hit something familiar? Tell me honestly, do you understand humans enough to recognize any of that, Castiel? Because I do.

[ofthursday]

[It only takes the first example for Castiel's eyes to flicker, and he looks away suddenly. Yes, he can understand and recognize that, and he wishes briefly that he couldn't. But it's true, all of it, he realizes suddenly, with an odd twisting feeling in his stomach.

But he shoves it away firmly; he should know better than this. Better than to let Lucifer make him doubt, only that's really the problem, of course. Lucifer isn't making him do anything.]

Leave me alone, Lucifer.

[thelightbringer]

I can't do that, brother. Not here.

[The soft tone is dropped abruptly for something brighter.]

I just want you to understand something, is that so much to ask? Can you shut off Michael's leftover programming long enough to listen objectively?

[ofthursday]

I left Heaven.

[It's cold, and short, but he doesn't like mentions of Michael's 'programming' and he's pretty sure he's proved he isn't subject to it anymore by his actions.]

[thelightbringer]

...and? [As if Castiel has just spouted out the winning scores for the 1956 World Series.]

You spent almost your entire existence being told what to think, not to feel, not to stray off God's straight and narrow. You expect me to believe that in one year you've completely shrugged off thousands of years of conditioning? Don't delude yourself, Castiel, you're smarter than that. Even I had a hard time at first, and I didn't have Michael's brainwashing to work through.

Every notion you have about me is what they told you to believe. You don't know anything else. You met me, what, a handful of times before the war? So there's one thing right there you should sit down and ponder. ...Oh, right, and Crowley's opinion. That can't possibly be biased. Never mind that the first time he met me was right here in the Port.

I know, that's probably a big leap. So let's go back to how you analyze things. It's a lot like how Michael does it. Hmmm, why might that be?

[ofthursday]

Don't patronize me.

[He actually takes a step toward Lucifer, instead of away, at the end of his patience.]

At home, you want to possess Sam. You plan to engage in a fight that will destroy humanity. You have, while here, threatened to kill Sam and Dean if they so much as crossed your path.

Those are things I learned from you, directly, not what I have been told.

[thelightbringer]

[He raises an eyebrow, but weirdly seems to take delight in the fact that Castiel has chosen to come closer. He almost seems to revel in it.]

At home, I want to possess Sam so that I can be sure Michael will hear me out. If he does? Humanity can kill itself off. I don't care about them, Castiel. The Apocalypse means nothing--it's just part of a script I want to break away from.

The only reason I want to kill the Winchesters is because they're trying to throw me back into Hell. You'd do the same in my place.

[ofthursday]

[Castiel notices Lucifer doesn't seem displeased by his motion but nothing more, silent and listening to Lucifer's argument. It's strangely difficult to refute.]

What is your point?

[Because he can't say anything else.]

[thelightbringer]

My point is you still hate me because you were taught to hate me. You have no rational reason for it. We want the same thing.

[A cold look, as he elaborates:] Family. Somewhere we won't be cast out or tortured for being independent. You tried to find that with the Winchesters; I tried to find it with Michael.

[He leaves it at that: past tense. Futile.]

[ofthursday]

[Castiel's gaze drops again at those words, wondering for a moment if they were true. Does he really have no reason to hate Lucifer? No; he has a reason. Lucifer's actions warranted his hate, or at least his opposition--

But they had struck first, hadn't they?

No. Lucifer still wants Sam at home, and that's all Lucifer. He's not going to let Lucifer sway him like this, not when he knows that's what he's trying to do. It must be.

But the comment about the Winchesters, about Michael, hits close to home. Castiel isn't and has never been truly a part of the Winchester family; he knows this. He'd been alright with it, for a long time, but he's been recently realizing belonging with them is something he desperately wants. It's part of the reason he's clinging to Sam so tightly.

And look how that's going.]

Regardless of whether that's true, what do you intend to do about it?

[thelightbringer]

About what?

[While Castiel thinks, Lucifer has been tossing pebbles, throwing them just hard enough that they stick into the sides of the building next to them.]

[ofthursday]

About this common goal you are so certain we share.

[He's not watching the rocks, not needing the reminder of how powerful the other is, even the the strength is a simple feat for just about any angel. Castiel still isn't capable of it.]

[thelightbringer]

[He pauses and sighs, as if he had rather wished Castiel hadn't asked that.]

What can I do? I can't force you to understand it. Even if I could, I wouldn't.

[ofthursday]

[He tenses a little at the sigh, but when Lucifer simply responds again he relaxes a bit once more.]

Then let me go.

[This conversation has gone on long enough, and Lucifer's already said enough to raise uncomfortable questions in Castiel's mind.]

[thelightbringer]

On one condition.

[ofthursday]

What is it?

[thelightbringer]

You meet me for coffee at least four times a week.

Oh, no, I can't do that...make it three.

[ofthursday]

[That... Is not what he's expecting.]

What?

[thelightbringer]

Three times a week.

[Or he'll leave you here. Pretend this is a choice.]

And I promise, I won't harm a hair on your head.

[ofthursday]

[But. Why.

He really has little to no intention of keeping this deal, but his best option right now is to agree and then figure out what to do from there. Seeing as Lucifer doesn't lie, if it really isn't a threat to him to meet with Lucifer then he might actually learn something of use. This could be a good thing.

And he doesn't have much of another choice.]

...Fine.

[thelightbringer]

Are you willing to seal it?

[ofthursday]

[...He doesn't even know what to say to that. He just stares, blankly, at Lucifer for a moment.]

Are you willing to take my word?

[In other words, he knows there's not actually a question here.]

[thelightbringer]

[Lucifer smiles as if Castiel has understood some private joke.]

I'll give you a shot. If you stand me up...I'll have to get even.

[ofthursday]

[He considers this for several seconds, but again, this is his best option. Again, he responds with just one word.]

Fine.